Ive never been afraid of snakes, heights or flying.
But I have been afraid of french fries.
My mood and joy plummeted along with my weight, but something within me wouldnt let myself cede control.
Photo:Getty Images. EatingWell collage.
Something felt safe about the power.
If I eat the same thing I did yesterday, nothing bad will happen, I told myself.
(Translation: If I follow the rules, I will be good.)
I unpacked it, sat down and started to bawl.
Everything was so black and white to me at that time.
I was actually at the table.
I was truly enjoying the experience.
Being in my body.
(I am already imagining skydiving at age 90.)
What Is Recovery?
The thing with eating disorder recovery that Ive always found fascinating is that it feels like a practice.
We eat each dayseveral times per dayand we also have the opportunity tomove our bodiesor rest them.
There’s not one official definition of eating disorder recovery.
The process to accepting and overcoming ones eating disorder is a marathon, not a sprint, Shaw says.
(Think of your friend who regularly does75 Hardor refuses towear a swimsuitin front of anyone else.)
If the idea of full recovery feels helpful and hopeful for someone, great!
Full recovery can be possible, and it can be a motivating goal for many people.
You dont have to be 100% fully recovered to live a good life, Hartley adds.
Being free of all vestiges of an eating disorder is an incredible goal.
Nonetheless, know youre not a failure if thats not true for you.
For most people, recovery is a lifelong journey, and that doesnt have to be a bad thing!
If this resonates with you, know that youre not alone.
Need Support?
National Library of Medicine, MedlinePlus.Eating Disorders.
